1.
There are two very helpful ideas that give guidance and assurance on the TALKING DAY. The first is this: While you listen with accurate empathy notice where previous trauma is informing the current situation. I often ask folks to say, “This is not the same.” You may find similarities as the past trauma is understood but during a crisis it is helpful to draw the distinction that the past is not repeating, not exactly.
2.
The second short and helpful thing is this: RIGHT SIZE the event. Everyone is prone to draw an inference that the past is being relived and that this is going to exponentially get BIGGER AND more painful. It is helpful to think of patterns of resilence that are available in this current situation that make some of the fears contract to a more realistic scale.
It also helps so build some thoughts of caution. We read the situation with fawn, fight, or flight adrenalin and thus, we can respond in ways far over what the situation calls for or far under what would be a right sized response.
Two Life Savers
1.
There are two very helpful ideas that give guidance and assurance on the TALKING DAY. The first is this: While you listen with accurate empathy notice where previous trauma is informing the current situation. I often ask folks to say, “This is not the same.” You may find similarities as the past trauma is understood but during a crisis it is helpful to draw the distinction that the past is not repeating, not exactly.
2.
The second short and helpful thing is this: RIGHT SIZE the event. Everyone is prone to draw an inference that the past is being relived and that this is going to exponentially get BIGGER AND more painful. It is helpful to think of patterns of resilence that are available in this current situation that make some of the fears contract to a more realistic scale.
It also helps so build some thoughts of caution. We read the situation with fawn, fight, or flight adrenalin and thus, we can respond in ways far over what the situation calls for or far under what would be a right sized response.