I painted this during a time of debilitating depression. There are never identical stories of the “dark night of the soul” but some feelings are universal.  I remember the lack of concentration and the number of times a day I would be ambushed by tears. In the middle of this storm I under-painted a canvas black.  If I was going to describe my life at this juncture it would be coming forward from a black background. 

     

Soon I was picturing all of the items that fly in a circular pattern during a tornado.  We have those every year in Tennessee. It seems they always come in from the West.  In the painting I wanted to capture the sense of everything in my world unhinged.  Untethered. I was buried below the evening sky. I couldn’t see daylight for all of the tumult.  All of this was true during that season and can be true if I drop into those feelings of despair today. I just don’t stay as long in the howling wind.  I came through and making this art was a step in my healing.     



  If you notice all of the orderly links of chain at the bottom edge.  It took HOURS to install little circular hooks to hold the different lengths of chain.  In doing this part of the painting I found my love of a good orderly direction.  It regulated my combustible emotions to cut and measure and install.  Cut. Measure. Install.  The bottom of the painting told me I could find a brave voice within and relate how all of this felt to world.  I could share my “signal cry” of chaos and loss visually. 

I realized later that the pain was grounded with lovely chains.  How uncanny!  The sense of a tornado of terror making all of the earthly treasures of a homestead worthless was overcome by twenty silver chains. They are resolute and remind me of a grandfather clock, valuable and heavy in a way.  This painting asked me to hold fast to hope. Order could find me again.  I would have more than debris in my future.